As you may have noticed from the recurring tone of my posts, I can easily allow negative situations to overwhelm and intimidate me, though I do believe that there is a lesson to be learned and essentially a positive outlook to be seen on everything that happens to us, it's just that sometimes it can be hard to see it. With my recent back injury/weight gain and the fears and insecurities accompanying it, I felt far from prepared to train fully in TKD let alone compete in a national competition, but somehow, yesterday, I did.
I'm not proud of my clumsy demonstration of Taekwon-Do, particularly in front of my own students. Having not prepared properly, either mentally or physically, I did not perform to my highest standard. Though I'm kicking myself for not doing things slightly differently in my bouts, I'm far more regretful of not showing my little protégés their instructor's full potential. I forgot things that I've known for years, and made a couple of rookie mistakes, but at the end of the day, I had won 2 Silver Medals for my efforts.
The awards themselves mean nothing to me, in fact I think I may have even left one behind at the competition in our haste to depart! The real "silver lining" for me was the look of awe and respect reflected in my young student's faces. It's easy to forget how much of an effect we have on other people's lives, even those who we do not interact with directly. In fact, one little girl, who I had never met before, came up to me and said: "Miss, you're my favourite black belt!" I nearly cried... :o)