Thursday, October 30, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
- Start using the gym at work again - varying between my personal TKD training, cardio and strength training.
- Start running on the weekends (when it's actually daylight rather than the darkness at 7am nowadays!)
- Drink 2 litres of water a day - I can do this!
- Try and limit my treats to once a day so that I really appreciate them rather than using them as a food source.
- Learn my II Dan patterns. (It's a TKD thing!)
- Lose at least 5lbs before Christmas, if not more to allow for seasonal excesses.
- Run 5 miles comfortably in under 40mins, ie. not in a race setting, just at a conversational pace.
Gotta go, but will definitely be adding to these later.
Ok, I think perhaps some of these are resolutions rather than goals, but if I can implement them then they'll help me on my path to my goals. Perhaps a new post is required... yay, I love posting! :o)
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
As I opened up my heart and soul to my room-mate over in Italy, the last thing I expected to hear was her not only understanding, but sharing similar experiences with me. Feeling de-motivated, feeling lost and out of place, feeling 'fat', ugly, stupid etc. Apparently these are normal feelings! I almost laughed at the notion that I've spent my adolescent/adult life trying to pretend to be perfect, trying to disguise any shortcomings, and then learning that a lot of other people are doing the same thing! Who was I trying to kid?! Life is not perfect. My life isn't anyway. My life is a great big mess. I could try and sweep all that under a proverbial carpet, or I could accept it for the way it is, and embrace its normalcy.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
I collected my baby sister from the train station earlier (she's 18, but still a baby to me!), and listened to her gleeful description of how her healthy diet in the build up to this competition has eliminated the hint of cellulite that she'd found on her thighs... I managed to restrain myself from kicking her out of the car on the motorway...
Honestly though, I'm ok with my chub. Well for now at least. I know no one can see it. It's like my own little private joke or something. It's a sick and twisted joke but I always did have a strange sense of humour!
You guys have been great for support through this seemingly overwhelmingly depressing time, but hopefully I'll soon get past all this whingeing about my body, and get on to complaining about something else!
Ciao for now!
Monday, October 13, 2008
I sat down yesterday and took stock of all the improvements I have made on my life in the last few years, and they are plentiful. Never before have I had the combination of a Good Job, Nice Home & a New Car, all at once. I don't remember a time when I didn't worry about my weight, even at my lightest I was never happy with my thighs or my cheeks with their genetic pre-disposition to hold fat cells. But even now with all of these other wonderful things happening in my life, they are all overshadowed by that hint of a double chin.
Friday, October 10, 2008
But there's more to it that just my nutritional preferences, it feels like the morning is a time I'm supposed to be hungry and I'm allowed to eat. After years of starvation & crash diets my signals are so screwed up that I can't tell what my body needs most of the time. But mornings are clear: I haven't eaten since last night so that feeling is hunger. I should eat now.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Today really has been a good day all round. My contract was renewed at work for 2 more years, with a raise (it's small but good in light of the recent economic downturn), and after a crazy busy afternoon my supervisor sent an email to our team telling everyone how much I'd helped her out. It was one of those warm-glow days where you really feel appreciated, and I wanted to share that with you all. :o)