Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Newsflash: I am normal!

I had an emotional time in Italy, that's not to say it wasn't worthwhile, I'm definitely glad I was there, but it wasn't exactly an experience I'd repeat in a hurry. Though I experienced a few important lessons I think the most important, and yet the simplest one was that I am actually fairly normal. Yes, that's right, after years of coming to terms with all my differences which set me apart from everyone, all the reasons that I came up with for my interpreted sense of exclusion, I finally realise that almost everyone experiences a sense of isolation at some stage. I might even go so far as to say that everyone makes mistakes, or feels that they've lost control of their life in some way, even to the extent where they feel out of sync or misplaced in the world. Could this be true?

As I opened up my heart and soul to my room-mate over in Italy, the last thing I expected to hear was her not only understanding, but sharing similar experiences with me. Feeling de-motivated, feeling lost and out of place, feeling 'fat', ugly, stupid etc. Apparently these are normal feelings! I almost laughed at the notion that I've spent my adolescent/adult life trying to pretend to be perfect, trying to disguise any shortcomings, and then learning that a lot of other people are doing the same thing! Who was I trying to kid?! Life is not perfect. My life isn't anyway. My life is a great big mess. I could try and sweep all that under a proverbial carpet, or I could accept it for the way it is, and embrace its normalcy.

2 comments:

Charlotte said...

You're so right! You are normal:) I'm so glad that your roommate could help you see that and appreciate it. A little compassion can sure go a long way, no?

Shivers said...

It certainly does Charlotte, so thanks for the reassurance! :o)