I'm finally out of victim/injured mode. I reluctantly went for a gentle jog this morning. I say 'reluctantly' because it felt strange to not be pushing myself to achieve a good time, I really didn't feel motivated to get all my running gear on for no apparent benefit. It's typical of me that I can never just enjoy the exercise for its own sake, there always has to be a competitive motivation behind it. I'm glad I went, even if my time was so shockingly bad I was embarrassed to see it on my stopwatch. It was a lovely morning, really crisp and fresh, with a beautiful sunrise, and I think I even heard the birds and other country wildlife in between Rihanna and Britney pumping on my iPod... :o)
I've decided to take a break from my online Food Diary. I want to eat naturally and normally, I need to re-train my body to identify hunger and to meet those needs healthily and appropriately. I've also decided to withdraw my entry from the Taekwon-Do World Cup next month. That was a hard decision to make, based on numerous physical and financial factors, but in the end it just came down to the fact that I'm not motivated enough to be competing at that level right now. I'm still sitting at 60kg, 2kg above my competition weight of -58kg, and though I know I could easily lose that weight under pressure of a weigh-in, I really don't want to put myself through that right now. I've been making good developments towards normal eating, and I want to keep working on that.
I'm still going to run the Ladies Charity 7km race; partly because it is for a good cause, and partly because I'm enjoying this new-found running ability I seem to have developed from somewhere. I think it would be a shame to let that go unnoticed. I may as well see how I fare in a mildly competitive atmosphere.
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