Thursday, January 15, 2009

Patience. Or my lack thereof...


I am very impatient. I really do not like waiting for anything or anyone. Ever. People are often surprised by my own lack of punctuality, considering my strong views on the subject, but I'd always rather be the slightly late person than the one left waiting. I'm not proud of that but my friends are used to it at this stage!

I like to plan things. Well anything and everything to be honest. I love writing lists and spreadsheets for my food and exercise, or budgets to see where my money's going, or even just lists for tasks that I need to do that day. I just like to have a visual of how things are going to progress.

These are not necessarily problematic characteristics. It often means that I am extremely efficient at tasks that I need to achieve. The problem arises when I make a plan that will take more than a couple of hours to come to fruition…

Over the last few days I've come to the conclusion that this year might just be the one where I get to go back to University full-time and do my Masters Degree. I finished my Undergraduate Degree over 5 years ago, and have been contemplating this course since it's creation just over 3 years ago. I've read the course prospectus a hundred times, I've asked the lecturers and successful business men who work in that area of expertise, and the course is highly recommended. I've checked my finances, and calculated how much I should/can save between now and September, and it all seems viable.

From a career perspective, I'm not challenged in the role I'm in, and with the current economic downturn it looks unlikely that there is any room for my progression within this company. All the numerous positive attributes which drew me to this position have been slowly whittled away, leaving me with the challenge of maintaining my interest in even being present for 8 hours a day. It's a draining experience. One which I'd gladly end sooner rather than later. But not without the prospect of improving my situation, such as could be provided by adding this qualification to my list of accomplishments...

From a personal perspective, it would require me to move nearly a 100 miles away. To the city nearest to my family. This is a major bonus. My niece already gets giddy merely at the prospect of my visiting for a weekend, so this would probably cause dangerous levels of excitement for her! And for me too. I have a lot of love for that little cutie.

Also on the personal aspect, and potentially another major bonus, this would mean a move away from my Taekwon-Do club, and of course the Instructor. The ex-boyfriend. Although the relationship ended almost 3 years ago, it still feels like this would be my first major steps on my own. He held my hand through my final year in High School, and emotionally supported me through my Undergraduate Degree. This could be my chance to try and re-live those experiences, this time without the stabilisers...

This course is something I've wanted to do for a long time, and finally it feels like it's going to fit nicely in to where my life is already going. So now I just need to wait until the end of the summer...


Yeah…

Like I said...

I'm not good at waiting.

I get bored way too easily.

And then I want to eat. Lots.

This is a recurring problem for me.

All suggestions would be gratefully received...

7 comments:

Sagan said...

I think we might be related.

Also going back to school sounds like it would be perfect for where you are at right now.

Missicat said...

That sounds like a fabulous plan all the way around. Now if you could just jump in a time machine...
I so want to go back and get my master's degree....maybe next year.

MizFit said...

I so regret never getting by PhD (I know I know I could still...) but I love your plan and am your Sister in Serious Impatience.

in a big bad way.

Shivers said...

Sagan, familiar characteristics? Nice to know I'm not the only one! :) It does feel like school could be the answer, so I'm trying to focus on the smaller goals that need to be achieved to make this happen.

Missicat, A time machine would be so welcome at this point!! :o) I've been thinking about this ever since I graduated, and every time I go looking for a course I keep getting drawn back to this one. I think it's time to listen to my intuition

Miz, I empathise with that regret, I was starting to feel like my Masters' time had passed... I guess you never know what directions your life will take you.

Tricia said...

I'm with you: I'm dying to get my PhD (and will if it kills me), but it's so hard keeping the mommentum during the application/waiting process.

I say to make a list of the reasons why you want to go and put it somewhere you'll constantly see it.

tokaiangel said...

Make small goals to fill in the gap between now and summer. Take up something new (I can recommend knitting, book groups and dance classes!!) it will give you something else to focus on. Seriously, you just need to distract yourself and the time will fly. Book up your social calendar too, with visits from friends etc, days out, all that, so you have a series of "stepping stones" throughout the next few months. It will make it seem less like a yawning void!!

I promise promise promise it will make it better, because I am EXACTLY like you - if I decide on something big like that I NEED to to happen NOW!! So self-distraction is something I've had to learn too.

Congratulations on the big decision, wishing you all the luck in the world!

TA x

Shivers said...

Tricia, oh so glad you can empathise with the frustration! At least I feel like I've made the most important step now with the decision to go. I've never felt like it was a genuine possibility, and now it feels like a certainty. It's so tantalisingly close, and yet so far!

TA, Great idea on the self-distraction, and I've actually been trying to do that. First I broke down the whole application process into a list (looove lists!) of all the associated tasks, including drawing up a realistic budget, contacting an old lecturer of mine to be my referee, as well as all the other practical tasks like looking for accommodation! It feels so nice to be working towards the greater goal, but still be keeping myself busy with the minutiae. At least I'll be prepared if/when it all falls into place!* I'm even setting myself little daily tasks of trying not to spend anything. A penny saved is a penny towards my Student Fund. :o)

(*ever the cynic, I still don't actually believe this will all happen for me.. It feels too good..too grown up...)